I've been preparing this morning for a really amazing opportunity that I've been offered- a yoga Asana photo shoot with a tremendous photographer in one of my favorite museums in NYC.
Here's the thing tho- if it's going to be an honest representation of what my practice has looked like lately it would be me crumpled on my mat surrounded by tissues. The last few weeks have been filled with back pain, the flu, heartbreak, failed projects and mental anguish. My practice most mornings has included me crawling to my mat and tenderly moving my broken body and heart into unrecognizable shapes to make whatever space I can for my disrupted breath and mind. It more times than not included tears, snot, tons of doubt and somehow the other day more than one vegan doughnut.
Complaining to my friend Jill this week about my concerns that I won't be able to create anything beautiful in these photos and I'll just be a huge waste of time for everyone because I'm too much of a mess, she laughingly suggested a super simple posture to just show them, as she joked, that I can hold my spine upright. Even though she was joking as we flipped through all of these insane contortionist yoga pictures for inspiration-it's actually what I'm going to do. To be honest it's the development of my practice that I'm most proud of and that I hold most dear in these last few years.
While my physical postural practice has become hugely minimized, my ability to hold my spine upright with integrity grows. Even when projects succeed and fail, relationships come and go and my heart breaks again and again I'm growing the ability to stand present and permeable to it all.