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Meet The Teach: Alexa Silvaggio Gained Weight And Self Respect Through Yoga

  • Brette Popper
  • Nov 15, 2016
  • 3 min read

Eight years ago, Alexa Silvaggio, 29, wasn’t the Raphaelite beauty she is today. She had anorexia, aware that her illness translated into a higher probability of landing plum musical theater roles. Praised for drowning in size 0 clothes, she survived on 200 calories a day to power through three hours of dance classes and one Pilates session at Syracuse University.

As a sophomore with a professional stage career, she was 5’7’’ but only 100 pounds.

“Anorexia is a form of self-hatred,” explained Silvaggio, who now wears a size 6 or 8. “Yoga is an act of self-care.” YogaCity NYC’s Ann Votaw enjoyed a fascinating interview with the brainy Silvaggio who teaches a challenging but sweet vinyasa:

Ann Votaw: When did you start yoga?

Alexa Silvaggio: I had done yoga for a long time before I got sick. But it was physical, more about stretching and strengthening the body rather than turning inward for information about my emotional state.

AV: What did rock bottom look like for you?

AS: Rock bottom was my college sophomore year. I was skeletal. I didn’t have a period. My hair was falling out. I had hair growing on my back because when you’re that cold, your body does everything it can to survive. I had lost sensation, which was really the point of my anorexia. I couldn’t feel fullness or hunger. For me, anorexia was a way of checking out so I didn’t have to think about the chaos in my life.

AV: Do you remember when you decided to get healthy?

AS: I was on my way from Syracuse to San Francisco to meet my sister and family after doing a show for six months. For some reason on that plane ride on that particular day, I was reading a book called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. As I was reading, I felt hunger. I ordered a tomato juice knowing that there were nutrients in it. I asked for the can. The tomato juice had 50 calories, so I ordered a Diet Coke instead. In that moment, I felt sincere tenderness and acknowledged how fucked up I was. The road to recovery started that evening.

AV: What was your sister’s reaction when she saw you?

AS: My sister gasped when I took off my jacket. She said, “We have to find you a therapist and a nutritionist right away.” Because I had that moment of clarity on the plane, I was ready to get well. I ate dinner that night.

AV: What did you eat?

AS: Salad, which was more substantial than anything I had been eating. I couldn’t just eat a steak. The next day, my sister and I went to a sweaty yoga class with about 100 students.

AV: What was that class like?

AS: If it hadn’t kicked my ass, I wouldn’t have trusted it. It was rigorous, but I remember the emphasis on breath. From this place of safety, I could eat.

AV: Why did your body feel so unsafe?

AS: I didn’t enjoy my college experience. I just didn’t feel nourished at Syracuse. I didn’t like the cold winters. A part of me knew I didn’t want to do musical theater even though I was good at it. I also had a relationship that went awry. I couldn’t deal with the discomfort.

AV: You had a pretty impressive musical theater pedigree.

AS: I went to Interlochen Arts Academy in Michigan with some summers at Cap21 at NYU. I started my professional career when I was a sophomore at Syracuse University. My first Equity role was The Mute in The Fantasticks.

AV: You’re now a bi-coastal full-time yoga teacher. How does that work?

AS: My mom had a rough diagnosis of cancer about a year ago. I moved back to California to help take care of her. Now I flip-flop between coasts.

AV: What is your practice today?

AS: I practice asana five times a week. I meditate each morning to set the tone. If I have to be somewhere, I do set a timer, but otherwise, I just let my body be.

AV: What comes up in meditation?

AS: I definitely have repeated negative thoughts about how my body looks. The eating disorder runs deep. It doesn’t go away. Because I have awakened to my thoughts, I can tell myself, “Alexa, you’re not fat or stupid. You’re beautiful and very intelligent. Your body is magnificent.”

AV: What do you see when you look in the mirror?

AS: I see health. I see femininity. I am a strong fit person, but I also have curves. That was

how my body really intended to be. I see strength and gratitude.

Alexa Silvaggio is an instructor at Pure Yoga when she is not caring for her mother.

 
 
 

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